do you know I don’t know how to (re)start this here? If you are already my reader, you realized that I am not a constant (I believe that the only constancy in my life is related to my son, other than that I live changing everything places) and if you are new here, then know that. As a person who at some point was my friend would say: whenever someone starts to get used to me, I disappear!
I’m sorry. I confess it’s not bad. Yes, I have affective responsibility, but it’s just that most of the time I’m such a big mess and I don’t think it’s fair to bring people into it… so, as a way to protect you I choose to disappear. Some people understand this, but don’t get involved, another doesn’t even realize my absence and only a single person remains by my side. Even without saying anything at all, he just stays there watching me in silence, without invading my moment takes care of me and without notice things begin to return to the place, I’ll go back to the place. I’m grateful for the presence, I think if it was for myself, maybe I wouldn’t be here writing such words.
Since the last time I spoke, I thought about giving up everything, in my mind to leave definitively would be better for everyone, however, my sense of responsibility still does not allow me to be so much done, so I revolved just let it go. In this I moved away from practically everything/everyone, I went to play. I went to live. I went to take
So far, everything has been very heavy, living in mourning is something so strange… I don’t know if it shouldn’t be, but it’s my feeling. I think I’m becoming aware and starting to feel it. Little turns into a lot!! It’s inevitable, I often can’t control it… if you knew how suffocating this is, maybe you would understand me.
The reality is that I’m not sure how it will work around here, I just know that I want to let go of thoughts (in a literary way) as if they were birds and leave them free to spread around whatever is said. I believe that deep down I only seek the peace I lack and sow ideas here or there.
Honestly, I don’t know if you’ll stay here with me or if I’ll be able to captivate new minds and looks, I just know that you’ll find me something that until then I’ve been afraid to show you, maybe a calm and sometimes a storm too!
No charges, no complications, no specific names and no definitions, just a few words that overflow my being and that at some point will make sense (or not) to me and maybe to you as well.
Welcome again 🙂